In a city where people keep an eye out for hurricanes and high school football scores, few expected the week’s headline to feature a man in a floral skirt.
But that’s exactly what Mobile residents got when deputies arrested 46-year-old Todd Anthony Bond for allegedly snatching packages off porches… while dressed like he’d just stepped out of a thrift-store fashion show.
Police say Bond’s operation wasn’t exactly Ocean’s Eleven material. The alleged thief didn’t even bother to sneak around.
He reportedly parked right in front of homes, strutted up in broad daylight, and made off with people’s deliveries as if he owned the place.
Security cameras caught the whole thing, floral print, purple headband, and all.
A Costume or a Commitment?
When the Mobile County Sheriff’s Office started reviewing footage, the confusion was instant.
Sergeant Lonnie Parsons admitted their first thought was: “We’re looking for a woman.”
It’s not every day a porch pirate pairs a black blouse with a blonde wig.
Halloween timing didn’t help. Deputies debated if Bond was dressed for trick-or-treating or taking “disguise” a little too seriously.
Parsons even joked that his “particular look” was as memorable as the vehicle that gave him away.
Either way, by the time officers caught up with Bond, the fashion statement hadn’t changed.
The Arrest That Solved Itself
Bond’s luck—or flair for performance—ran out when deputies spotted him during a traffic stop.
Sitting behind the wheel, still decked out in feminine attire, he reportedly had the very same packages police had been searching for.
“When we placed them in custody, we looked inside the vehicle,” Parsons said. “Lo and behold, we found the original packages.”
Translation: if you’re going to run a porch-pirating side hustle, maybe don’t carry the evidence around like a purse.
Return of the Repeat Offender
Bond had only been out of jail for six months before this latest performance. Apparently, freedom didn’t fit his schedule for long.
Authorities say he even left the state for a while, which sent deputies waiting for his grand Mobile comeback.
And what a return it was, complete with props, a costume, and front-row confusion from half the city.
Now, he’s back behind bars, likely swapping the floral skirt for standard-issue orange as he awaits a bond hearing.
Lessons in Local Lore
Mobile has its share of characters, but every now and then someone adds a new chapter to the legend.
Porch piracy is nothing new, yet this one came with sequins and spectacle. It’s the kind of story that spreads faster than a summer storm, half gossip, half disbelief.
Residents might be locking up their mailboxes a little tighter this week, or maybe just keeping their cameras rolling.
Because if there’s one thing this city knows, it’s that the strangest stories tend to unfold right on the front porch.
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